Hugged to death

When it comes down to it being kicked to death and hugged to death are pretty similar. They both have the same end result. You end up dead.

There is a little insidious trap that comes from taking on acceptance as a catch phrase, or even from the direct experience of how transformation can occur naturally through genuine acceptance.

It's easy to start using acceptance as a tool. When acceptance becomes a tool to create change it is no longer really acceptance. There is now an agenda, and whatever is present is no longer as good as some wonderful projected future.

But you know that change occurs spontaneously in a state of acceptance, so you accept as hard as you can because the harder you accept the quicker the bastard will change.

It's a bit like trying to hug someone to death.

You have probably received and given smiles to and from people you don't quite like in this way. You may even have blamed them for returning your forced smile with a false smile..

You've probably also seen the saccharine sweetness of hardcore spiritual optimists determined to follow the party line and tell you that life is wonderful even when they don't feel, believe or experience it that way. It does n't have to be that way.

But if you can't fight it, and you can't accept it to death what can you do?

Sorry, there is nothing you can do which is great news because it means that there is nothing that you have to do. You don't have to accept or resist or be spiritual or aware or clever.

Since there's nothing you can do you may as well be gentle with yourself. Then you may find that things begin to transform and authentic appropriate responses come naturally.

In time you may even learn to gentle what you cannot accept to death. Then I'll have to write another article…